Romance & Reality

A dichotomy between the heart and mind.

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Sunday | August 3rd

11:18 | pm

Tonight,

There’s no meeting.

For the first time,

I closed my blinds on you.

I rekindled with someone.

Someone I once truly adored.

We decided to try again,

To live our fantasies for one another again.

He melts for me.

Like how my heart melts for you.

But as I’ve done with you,

I fight the urge.

The urge to melt back.

The urge to feel,

To reciprocate.

While it feels like a fantasy,

Between him and I,

It feels like there’s something pending,

In the background.

But I swallow that thought.

That intuitive whisper.

Because the last time I expected you,

At 8:30pm,

She was there too.

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As we stand in front of the open blinds,

I can’t help but notice you.

Your position,

Once relaxed and receptive,

Now stern and upright.

You lean forward.

As if you’re challenging my decision.

Questioning if I truly want to do this.

It stings to see you like this.

Fighting to conceal your distress.

Slowly,

I turn the blinds.

Briefly,

I stare back at you,

Confirming my decision,

To choose another.

Because the last time I expected you,

She was there too.

And it pained me,

To no end.

To feel how deeply you yearn for me,

To know how soulfully I long for you.

Forced to accept that timing

Is far from being on our side.

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So tonight,

I chose him.

And he chose me too.

And each night thereafter,

We chose one another.

Over and over again.

It was the only way that I could forget you.

The only way to cut telepathic ties with you.

But in the back of my mind,

I knew that could never come true.

We’re eternally bound.

In each lifetime.

Over and over.

Through and through.

But on this night,

I choose him.

On this night,

My heart goes to him.

Because the last evening,

At 8:30pm,

When I expected you…

Inescapably yours,

Analise